And so much of this life will remain always beyond her understanding, as obscure as the landscapes of someone else’s dreams.” And her heart-now thrumming strong and steady, against her father’s chest, as he rocks her to sleep on a porch swing one evening in early summer, at the very start of a life-that heart: it will beat, and it will someday cease to beat. There will be days of spectacular beauty, sublime and unearned. She will sometimes be lonely and sometimes less so. She will suffer, and she will cause suffering. And so, maybe, in a way, Ben can see what’s coming: His girl will love and be loved. How can he send his daughter out into a world like that? But even an infant’s brain can predict the rough path of a falling object in flight. “The more time that passes, what begins to seem uncanny to Ben is the fact that all the days ahead are such a darkness, that all of us move through our hours as if blindfolded, never knowing what will happen next.
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